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Systema Contranaturae April 22, 2009

Posted by ficial in brain dump, games.

Being the Outline of a Classification of Creatures Sub-, Un- and Supernatural

with apologies to Carl von Linné

  • Kingdom Monstera
    • Phylum Sanctora – Creatures specific to religions
      • Class Lovecraftia (NOTE:there is some debate about whether this group belongs under Mysteriosa Malextrema, but those who discuss this in too much details end up quite insane and/or mysteriously vanishing leaving behind only an ill odor and a salty puddle)
    • Phylum Mysteriosa – Things which by their (un-)nature cannot be known
      • Class Malextrema – Things too horrible to comprehend
      • Class Obscura – Things inherently hidden
    • Phylum Faeries – Creatures of the fey realms
    • Phylum Draces – Dragons of all sorts (NOTE: formerly order Draces, but the Draconobilis terrorae kept killing and eating the taxonimists until they were promoted to their own phylum)
    • Phylum Chimera – Creatures composed of parts from different creatures in Plantae, Fungi, and/or Animalia
      • Class Dicorposa
      • Class Polycorposa
    • Phylum Somanihila – Intangible creatures
      • Class Aetheriforma – Spirits
      • Class Psychobiota – Creatures that exist only in the mind
      • Class Sensoria – Creatures composed of force, light, or other things that may be sensed (NOTE: possibly belongs under Pseudobiota instead)
    • Phylum Pseudobiota – Things not normally alive
      • Class Elementia – Living stone, air, water, earth, and variations thereof
      • Class Automechana – Non-living moving (or otherwise acting – e.g. computers) things that act under their own volition
        • Order Contravita – Dead things (NOTE: for a time the undead were a phylum)
      • Class Conglomerata – Creatures composed of collections of things that don’t normally go together
    • Phylum Multipolyplenipluramera – Things with too many things
    • PhylumViciforma – Creatures that change shape
      • Class Infigura – Creatures with no fixed form
        • Order Amorpha – Blobs, jellies, clouds, and other things of fluid shape
        • Order Isomorpha – Creatures that take the form of other things
          • Biomorpha – Creatures that take the form of other creatures
          • Lapidamorpha – Creatures that take the form of non-living things
      • Class Polyfigura – Creatures with multiple distinct forms
        • Order Versiforma – Creatures that have a variety of particular forms
        • Order Partiforma – Creatures that change a portion of themselves
        • Order Locaforma – Creatures that change depending on location or environment
          • Family Cyclimorpheae – Creatures that change shape at regular intervals
            • Genus Lunamutus (NOTE: formerly Lycanthropus)
            • Genus Heliomutus
            • Genus Astromutus
    • Phylum Isobiota – Monsterous forms of Animalia, Plantae, or Fungi
      • Class Pseudoanimalia
      • Class Pseudoplantae
      • Class Pseudofungi
      • Class Nanogargantua – Giant versions of things that are otherwise small


1. Peter Hess - April 29, 2009

This is great stuff. I was very amused even though I’m so far from being a fantasy fan that I’ve never even cracked open Lord of the Rings. (I am a Biology fan though.) I’m gonna tweet it.

2. ficial - April 29, 2009

Glad you enjoyed it!

This was inspired by a friend’s birthday party. She had everyone bring various random crafting materials and after some cake and other tasty food we sat around making some monsters.

Thinking about their natural history and classification was the logical next step :)

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